The Dirty Life of Dogs

Dazy is a brilliant dog when it comes to fishing. She knows how to sneak around trees avoiding the shoreline, she knows how to stand on my left to avoid getting hooked. She is better than any human being I have taken fishing.

So why is a dog that can shake, roll over, army crawl and sit on demand so stupid to roll in dead animals or horse poop whenever the opportunity arises? Does horse poop actually smell like Polo cologne to a dog? Does it release the pheramones that attract other dogs? Because as near as I can tell, all it does it make her nose green and her fur smell like...well...shit.

For those of us who live with her it's an inconvenience. But for her master, it means I need to continually wash her, unclog the drain with dog hair and then live out the definition of insanity by doing it over and over and over.

Last week, I PAID someone else to do it. She came back from the groomers with a bow in her hair and a new bandana. The equivalent of a baby fresh out of the tub with baby lotion all over. But I turned my head for one second (yes, ONE), and she jumps in the muddy river. I scold her and she gets out and as I lunge for her, she rubs out the water by rolling in dirt and horse manure.

This dog is 8 years old! That is 64 in human years. It is unacceptable. She is too young to be senile, but old enough to know better. You don't see my dad running around rolling in poop? Why the dog then?

I thought about getting even. Maybe I could roll in cat feces and then ask Dazy to come and cuddle. But the thing is, this dog loves you no matter what. It's an impossible situation.

It's time to switch out for a goldfish.

May 2009

Wow! A whirlwind month with end of school events, graduations, softball, concerts, and family fun. I'm not sure where to start.

Let's just say I'm proud...I've got kids graduating, kids starting college in the fall, kids turning into beautiful and smart human beings. I'm just going to bask in that moment for awhile.

Gearing up for summer with so many fun things happening. Fishing trips, hiking trips, great weather, and a lot of family activities. Oh, yeah, and Biology class (gag).

'Nuff said. Life is good. Family is everything.

Kevin keeps movin' up AND Pottery Queen

Two updates for the week. First, we went to the National Football Foundation banquet again yesterday and it was a lot of fun. Got to visit again with Kyle Wittingham, Lavell Edwards, Ron McBride, Norm Chow and a lot of other great Utah sports mavericks. Kevin loves this sports world and he's perfectly matched with his skills and passions. I am learning to appreciate aspects (the cheesecake was good at dinner). It makes him happy and that's great. They have asked him to be President of the National Football Foundation next year. Great resume builder for Kevin...more cheesecake for me. A win-win.

My pottery came out today and the kiln gods were very good to me. You never know if you are goign to get "butt ugly" or "lovin' stuff" when the glaze is fired. In my case, the kiln loved up the pots and they look beautiful--best batch my teacher has seen. I have reached my goal of making "tall things" and I'm now starting to make more complicated pieces...like bowls that are actually round and don't have holes or cracks in them. Regardless of my skill level, it's my new passion. To look the part, I've got to stop wearing makeup, burn my bras, wear organic cotton clothes, and start recycling. No prob. I was well on my way anyway.

School is out and finals are DONE. I'm like a caged tiger who just got released--leaping and bounding to my next adventure. One whole month for me to brush up flyfishing skills without other distractions. 'Ol Joe has been waiting at Nebo for 6 months to be caught again. Me and my barbless hook and beetle imitation are on our way, Joe.

Easter at the Homestead

I didn't take very many pictures this trip. For starters, any picture I took would have had at least one person fighting with someone else. Family vacation tip--Never try to sleep 7 in the same room. Things got markedly better after we got a second room. Some of my favorite moments were on the water when Kevin and I snuck away for some fly fishing (sans camera). We caught about 8 fish between two very short getaways.

The look on Kev and my faces in most of the pictures are saying, "Is it over yet?" But sometimes, you carry on with traditions no matter what. We had fun reminiscing about years past when the kids still were terrified of the Easter Bunny because he was so big. Now they just think he's a child predator in a fuzzy suit. Here are our noteworthy moments:

1. Playing games on Saturday night
2. Catching 3 fish in the rain completely unexpectedly
3. The seafood buffet at Schneitters
4. The hotel room Easter egg hunt
5. Conversation on the drive home

Looking ahead to the next holiday--June fishing at Little Bighorn with Fritzie!

Egg Coloring Contest

It's that time of the year...pastel colors, warmer weather, Easter egg coloring contests and time to buy a new fishing license (What? That's not what you think of when Easter rolls around?).

We had the extravaganza on Monday night and I must say the competition was stiff. 2 art students, crazy Kayla, an 11 yr old with a 64 color box of crayons and Kevin (a darkhorse candidate who gave us a run).

In the end, we couldn't decide whether Jantzen's true-to-fairy-tale Humpty Dumpty egg, Kevin's "Tessa is HOT" egg, Gentry's multi-colored 70's egg, Kayla's "fat lips" or Tessa's smiley face egg with the glue-on squigly eyes was the real winner. So hard to choose when there is such an abundance of talent. Personally, I liked the "Tessa is HOT" egg.

We are planning our annual getaway to the Homestead for Easter Brunch and swimming in the crater. Should be a blast.

Also, Kayla just finished her Death By Chocolate play where she was the lead. She stole the show with her rendition of a beautiful, flirty, all legs, detective/sleuth. Wait...no wonder. That's not acting. That was just Kayla. She did fantastic.

The semester is winding down. I have gone from making "tall things" to "masterpieces" worthy of giving to my mom. Although I'm no expert, I have at least one piece I would actually show other people. We fire and glaze it next week. After it's showing in the Metropolitan Museum of Art, it will be available for viewing at the house for a limited time.

We are trying to re-rent our Alpine home after hearing it was the subject of a news report. Our renters had a domestic dispute ending in threatening to shoot a policeman. Yes, after 23 years of "reading people" in HR, I am an excellent judge of character. Just call me if you need to hire a security guard. I know a guy with a gun now.

Montana/Wyoming Fishing Queen

Woo-hoo Spring Break Baby! Dad and I took off for a Montana flyfishing adventure on the Little BigHorn. The weatherman assured us it would be a balmy 30 degrees on our first day. He was only about 35 degrees off. We woke to -4 degrees but braved the day anyway, one of the the only groups crazy enough to fish the river that day. All the fish were just waiting for us. Day Two it got up to 30 degrees and day three we think we hit 40 degrees. Other than almost losing my fingers and toes to frostbite, we had a safe time. We nymphed our brains out. Paul Garrison and his lovely family hosted us and we shared in laughter and games at night, wonderful homecooked meals and great company. It was my favorite spring break on record. We almost forgot to take pictures we were having so much fun. Eat your heart out, Matt and Gabe.

Cute Pics of Kids

Nothing much to say. I'm just packing to go on a week flyfishing trip with my Dad through Montana and Wyoming so my focus is elsewhere. But Hannah and Jantzen were together this weekend and we took these cute pics. They are almost grown up. Sigh...where did the time go?